I'm not really sure what to think right now. I'm trying to concentrate on my school work so I keep my grades through the end of the year, but it's hard to focus on anything with so much uncertainty.
The search party for Olivia has been called off. After four days and a force of hundreds, there was literally no sign of her or what had happened to her. The police are saying that by now, either she's run away, or there's no chance of ever finding her. They combed throughout Iverson, then the surrounding area, and finally the farm fields all around the town... and nothing. I didn't know her too well, but fuck if it doesn't bring me down. Things like these just don't happen.
I almost feel like I should look on my own. She survived that Iverson fire with me, so that's some sort of connection we had, right? Just us. The other three all moved away, and I haven't heard from any of them in years. It left just us, and now it leaves just me, but maybe there's something I can find that the hundreds of others couldn't. Or maybe I'm just being horribly optimistic. Besides, I don't even know where I'd start. Iverson? Her disappearance is only more reason for me to stay away. I know.. I know I'm probably crazy, and that this is just a series of bad coincidences, and that my little-kid memory is so skewed by this point that I probably didn't see anything at all back then, and that... but there was Jill's house.
That's another thing. Jill won't talk to me. I can't even get close enough to call out a greeting to her, and I don't know why she's doing it. God, if I could just say something to someone who was in that house, it would take more a load off my shoulders than Hercules holding the world for Atlas. It's oppressive, the way something so completely unexplainable could happen, and the one person to talk to is avoiding you like the plague. Nobody else would be any good -- Jill's got this special.. thing. She's lived with weird stuff. Maybe what happened was just too weird for even her...
Fuck. I've got a paper to write. Maybe I'll come up with something by tomorrow.
Oh, one last thing -- I finally noticed that on my first post, the name of my prime suspect is in some font I've never seen before. Boxes with numbers.. every time I try to edit it, it comes back up at that, and when I copy/paste it back into word, all I get is ?????. I suppose it's accurate enough, seeing how I feel, but how can I get answers when I can't even name the problem? What the fuck is this blog if I can't get anything from it?