Monday, April 18, 2011

On My Own

This isn't as depressing about my last terrible post about my friends, I promise.  That was an overemotional overreaction -- I'm pretty sure this is a fact.

I finally got Jill to talk to me, but it wasn't really that much of a conversation.  After searching around for her for most of the day, I finally went to her locker and just stood there, waiting.  She needed to get her things to go home, so she couldn't just walk away from me.  I'm only fortunate she didn't ignore me completely.  I don't remember exactly what was said, but for the most part, it went down like this.

"What do you want?" she asked as she came up to her locker, turning to twist in the combination.  She sounded annoyed and defeated, as though the battle between us had finally been lost.

"I want to talk about that.. thing.. that happened at your house.  See, um... some weird things have been happening to me.  That's just one.  I know you--"

"Jon."  She stopped me short and turned back to face me.  "A lot of weird things have happened in my house before.  You know this.  But trivia was something else entirely, and whatever it was, it followed you in.  You know I'm careful, and I don't like getting involved with anything that could be dangerous."  She slipped her backpack over her shoulders and shut her locker door.

"So you what exactly are you saying?"  This wasn't the reaction from her I'd been hoping for.

"I'm saying there's nothing to talk about.  Just.. don't come to my house for a while.  And don't talk about this to anyone else."

I struggled to keep my composure as she walked away.  The halls around me seemed to close in, and looking around for some sign of comfort, I saw only the emptiness of a building without meaning.  What could school teach me that I could truly use in a world so unknowable?

With no help from Jill and no response to this blog, I don't know what else to do.  I'm blind to the entirety of the situation, other than that I'm in it and that I'm probably in danger.  Jason or Tasha might know something, because they're the kinds of people who would, but I haven't talked to them a lot lately... I really don't want anyone thinking I'm crazy.  That would be the worst thing.

I might go to Iverson soon.

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